I cant wait to get back horse riding...I've only realised how much I missed it recently when younger members of the family started riding!
For my next birthday I'm going to hire out a horse up at the riding school and just have the day to to my self. I should be 3 or 4 stone lighter by then.
I want to be able to be invited some where like a communion or a party...and not have to die a little inside thinking about oh jesus...what am I going to wear..without looking like a frump???? would love to have a wardrobe of lovely clothes I can go to...or to pop into any random clothes store and find my size...
I want to wear a ball gown and look nice! I didn't go to my debs cos I didn't want to be a cow in a dress...the dress would have had to be costume made probably and cost a bomb! and even then i would have hid away from the cameras....I would love to go to the annual ball down here in a dress...and feel comfortable, at home in my own skin...I'm a good person...I'd like to look at least...some what pretty...
I want to be confident enough to be myself! To put my self out in the world! I always settle for the wrong men...cos I'm afraid to go for the ones i like...out of fear of being rejected over my weight...If men are going to reject me...I want them to reject me for who i am....not what i look like...if that makes sense.
I want to be confident enough to take chances in life! Go for the things I want...without thinking "oh god no one wants to hear from the fat girl"
I want to live my life to the full!
